“Then two women who were prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. The one woman said, “Pardon me, my lord: this woman and I live in the same house; and I gave birth to a child while she was in the house. And it happened on the third day after I gave birth, that this woman also gave birth to a child, and we were together. There was no stranger with us in the house, only the two of us in the house. Then this woman’s son died in the night, because she lay on him. So, she got up in the middle of the night and took my son from beside me while your servant was asleep, and she laid him at her breast, and laid her dead son at my breast. When I got up in the morning to nurse my son, behold, he was dead! But when I examined him closely in the morning, behold, he was not my son, whom I had borne!” Then the other woman said, “No! For the living one is my son, and the dead one is your son.” But the first woman said, “No! For the dead one is your son, and the living one is my son.” So, they spoke before the king. Then the king said, “The one says, ‘This is my son who is living, and your son is the dead one’ and the other says, ‘No! For your son is the dead one, and my son is the living one.’” And the king said, “Get me a sword.” So, they brought a sword before the king. And the king said, “Cut the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.” But the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply stirred over her son, and she said, “Pardon me, my lord! Give her the living child, and by no means kill him!” But the other woman was saying, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; cut him!” Then the king replied, “Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother.” When all Israel heard about the judgment which the king had handed down, they feared the king, because they saw that the wisdom of God was in him to administer justice.” (I Kings 3:16-28 NASB)
This past Saturday, the Assistant Pastor and I taught the Adult Class incorporated into a one-day Vacation Bible School at our church. I felt impelled and inspired to share this with you in place of a Monday Short meditation. It is worth reading! The opening and closing biblical passages will reveal to you the following tips.
- Conflict involves two parties. (You don’t have to be one of the parties!)
- Conflict can take place in the house or any space we share with other. (Be on guard!)
- Conflict can occur between people who have similar backgrounds and similar circumstances, just as the women in the opening text. (Both were harlots, no man is mentioned which could be a source of frustration causing one’s inner self to bring about conflict. Anxiety caused by frustration will come out! Get your heart right on the inside!)
- Conflict happened on the third day in the account above. (Conflict can happen any day of the week. That is a given. What is important is how we handle conflict when it arises.)
- Conflict can be avoided by acting with integrity and by avoiding covetousness.
- When you cannot resolve conflict, don’t let it elevate, seek some type of mediation. (God’s representatives, starting with Jesus, Pastors, and wise pew members who will stand on the truth are good sources.)
- Time is your best friend in de-escalating conflict.
- If you bring in a third party, make sure it is an unbiased one you can trust. (King Solomon was such a person in the opening passage.)
- On the other hand, if you are the mediator, be a good listener. Do not show favoritism. As a mediator, take the time required to lessen and hopefully end the conflict.
- Worth noting: In the opening passage, the two women did not engage in any type of physical violence. After the conflict resolution, they were both left alive. There is nothing written about retaliation either.
- Solomon quickly used a test to make a decision. His example proves we need wise meditators.
- Note: There is no need for neighborhood wars as on reality shows. Both parties should subject themselves to the help of a mediator if need be. (Let me make it plain. Other than Jesus, it may be a principal, a pastor, a preeminent (outstanding) city official, even a professional Christian counselor (i.e. in the case of marital discord), etc.) In the opening passage, they went to the latter, the king.
- Look and learn from the two women. One was staying with her lack of integrity, willing to let the son be killed. The other was a woman with integrity, and she sought the best outcome, even if she would not be able to feel like she was the winner. (In spite of how we have been acculturated and socialized, we don’t always have to win or have it out way.)
- The woman that had integrity, also had love. (See how the closing passage helps.)
Like I was impelled, inspired to send this to you, please send this to others in your house, and any teens, young adults, and others in your orbit of relationships and acquaintances. Also, ask them to do the same. Let’s help somebody rise above the rising conflicting in our communities. Spread the word of God, and a word on dealing with conflict! Be blessed!
“Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” (I Corinthians 13:4-8a NASB)
Mark L. King