“Worry can rob you of happiness, but kind words will cheer you up.” (Proverbs 12:25 GNT)
It’s approaching eleven years since my boss at the time came to have lunch with me at my house. It was a workday and I had been off work following an ear surgery for a few weeks. The purpose of his visit was to discuss my options regarding employment with the company. I had three: (1) Return to work, able to walk around a facility with miles of moving, vibrating conveyor belts, conditions that would be admittedly risky for a person who still had the potential for vertical episodes. (2) Take long term disability and forfeit the annual bonus, per corporate policy. (3) Take early retirement and still be eligible for the bonus. I think he had my best interest in mind from a safety and secure future perspective.
For lunch I fixed a large pot of chili. I knew it was good because he asked for a second service, and almost bashfully a third serving. After he finished eating and exploring my options, he asked if I would give him a tour of my house. In my mind, I thought, “This house is not big enough for a tour!” Perhaps he wanted to see how I decorated my home since he had chosen me to decorate the entry way to our work facility, the hallways, and the three major conference rooms. I’m not really sure about his motive, but I conceded and took him on the “tour.” At the time, all the boys’ bedrooms were still intact, even though they were all away in school or had graduated from college and had begun their careers. Two of these bedrooms are now used as offices, of course. As we entered one bedroom on the upper level my boss noticed curtains in the place of those squeaky, easy to come off track, sliding doors. I had grown so tired of them coming off track that I had replaced then with what I call “Good Times Closet Doors.” Yes, I hung some curtains that might make you say, “Dynamite!” Although they have been upgraded to a higher quality curtain today, they are still being used instead of doors. (After reading this, I’m sure new closet doors, real ones, will make Mrs. King’s project list.)
When we entered the bedroom with the “Good Times Closet Doors,” my boss gave a positive comment, “Curtains, what a creative idea. That’s smart.” Again, I resorted to silently thinking, this time about how we were trained to do door-to-door evangelism in the mid 1980’s and how we were supposed to find something, anything to give a compliment to the person who permitted us to enter their house and explain the plan of salvation. I thought that was what my boss was doing. I could be wrong, but could he had really been sincere about the “Good Times Closet Doors?” I really will never know. I would suspect he did not go to his southside community and try to convince his spouse to do away with the doors in the bedrooms in his elegant, spacious house and replace them with curtains.
There is one thing we can take from this story. When you interact with others, Instead of finding something to criticize, finding faults, finding mistakes, use what you learned from the figurative “Good Times Closets” story. Find something nice to say. Give compliments as opposed to criticisms. Magnify something good instead of highlighting mistakes. Using the technique I was trained in to evangelize and what I suspect was the same technique my boss employed. Doing so, this will help you establish rapport, enhance relationships, elevate the conversation, and evade tensions. Yes, before you are tempted to release your complaint, rattle off your criticism, or raise your voice to comment about what you do not like, find something good to say and manage your words. Don’t worry about things that are not big things or even things that need to be changed right away. If you do, your conversation and interaction will be better. I guarantee it! Think on this tip today! Use it! Be blessed!
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:3-6 NIV)
Still committed to the climb,
Mark L. King