“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.” (Proverbs 12:15 NLT)
I recall as a child traveling a couple of hours with my family from Indianapolis, Indiana to New Albany, Indiana at times. We would depart early on Sunday mornings so that we could get to Sunday School and attend worship at the church where my grandfather pastored. I can’t remember if Aunt Ruth or Aunt Suzy was the teacher for the children’s classroom, but I do remember there was a sandbox stationed on a table for playtime. Most children shared the sandbox, but there was one or two children who would look at you with a face that was filled with displeasure, communicating with their body language, “Get out of my sandbox.”
Much later in life I learned as an adult that when you try to help mentor some youth make good decisions, help a co-worker become more efficient and productive, or provide sought out guidance initiated by another adult; I learned in all those types of situations the “Get out of my sandbox” mentality was displayed one way or another.
Whether people want to accept your advice or not depends upon their sandbox mentality. You see, explaining “one way or another,” there are two major sandbox mentalities. One is where the person you are trying to help says in their own unique way, “Get out of my sandbox.” The other, again expressed in their own way, is “I’m listening! I appreciate all the good help I can get.”
While our intent is pure and even if how we advise is a representation of picture-perfect communication and interaction skills, we will be told both directly and indirectly, “Get out of my sandbox.” As a pastor preaching from the pulpit, I can see the expressions on some of the faces in the pew that are surely saying, “Get out of my sandbox.” I understand that there are many reasons that explain this behavior: pride, past experiences, personalities that are resistant to change, perturbing insecurities, persistence to prove “I got this” even when they don’t, and persuasion by our adversary who wants to present, unconsciously, a radical misbelief that good advice is to be rejected. People are better, from adulthood to childhood when they defer a “I’m listening’ alternative; and a “I appreciate all the good help I can get” mentality.
In your home, on your job, in the church, well everywhere, be on guard for the least preferred sandbox mentality. Respond accordingly to avoid stirring up conflict and/or canceling good input. Have a great Friday! Be blessed!
“And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.” (Matthew 10:14 NKJV)
Still committed to the climb,
Mark L. King