“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” (Matthew 7:9 NIV)
Here is an assignment that will help our present and future generations, and in fact help society as a whole. So do me a favor, please. After reading this, pass this on to all the fathers or “momma’s baby’s daddies” and all the teenage hormone driven boys, not yet fathers that you know. Look, everyone deserves the truth, as hard as it might be to hear.
In the verse above there is a contrast between “bread” and “a stone” as options for a nutritious, needed meal. I know bread may bring weight gain, but on the positive side, the right bread includes a variety of nutritious ingredients; ingredients such as calcium, protein, iron, fiber, vitamins, and other minerals. The son who asked for the bread above would benefit if the father had met his request. Given a stone, the son would be confused and certainly his needs to be sustained with strength and developed properly would not have been met. The son would be thinking, “I can’t eat this stone. It would only cause problems internally that would take a lot of effort to get out of my system.”
Now the problem does not reside with the child who chooses to digest the stone. The problem really resides with the father. Sons and daughters brought into this world need their fathers that give bread. They don’t need daddies who leave their children with stones as opposed to bread. Bread could equate to money or financial support, but that’s not the bread I’m talking about. Bread could relate to an occasional drop by, pick up, and go to the pizza joint for a routine party every other weekend, but again, that’s not the bread I’m talking about. You would be closer if you defined bread in your mind as a presence in the child’s life. I can see that definition being appropriate based on the words Deborah MacNamara wrote, explaining why babies say “Dada” often before they say “Mama.” She says, “When mothers are the primary attachment, babies are still quite fused to them well into their first year of life. The first separation they see from themself is to their father. Dada is usually the first person they identify outside of the mother and baby bond.” Let me back up a minute on my reporting and cite something she has said earlier in her article: “Cross cultural research on baby’s first words shows that the clear winner is Dada. Tardif and colleagues found in more than 900 babies, aged 8 to 16 months from English, Cantonese and Mandarin speaking homes, Dada was the most common first person identified. Mama is not far behind but it does lead to questions as to why in mixed gender homes, Dada seems to come first?” I just have to share this information! The writer goes on to say, “Mama usually follows on the heels of Dada and indicates that a child is starting to use words to name permanent objects in their life. What this indicates is a small developmental miracle; a child is being born as a separate, unique being.” Can I suggest to fathers that they underline the words “permanent objects in their life?”
Let me get back to the definition of the bread that I want to focus on; that being spiritual bread. Yes, I’m speaking of bread that comes from above, both the spoken words of God and the Word of God, Jesus Christ. If today’s fathers start giving this bread instead of the stones I will name: “irresponsibility,” “invisibility,” and “irreverence” for the true God as evident in their language and behavior, we will be able to turn on the morning news and not be greeted about all the appalling murders and pointless shootings involving the younger generation. Fathers, if you are reading this, know that we need to give our children the bread I have referenced. This will eliminate the need for having to find ways for the child to get the stones they eat out of their system; ways which are sometimes very harmful and violently hurtful.
Read the opening verse above again. If you are one of the fathers giving bread and not stones, God bless you and smile on you! Keep doing it and you will get better at it. If you are a father who is giving stones, turn to God and let the bread He can give you, nourish you in such a way that you can nourish your children. Can we say, “No more stones?” Read the closing verse and have a great Tuesday. One last comment: This is not a pre-Father’s day beat down. It is father’s day to be called up. Be blessed!
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-9 NIV)
Still committed to the climb,
Mark L. King